Thursday, September 22, 2016

Time for Honesty.. I can Do this....

I am sitting here watching a TLC program, and doing a lot of thinking. I am going to redirect my life and this blog. I am not sure if any will ever actually read this. But I am going to make it public. That is the first step right, making your plan public.

I am so disgusted with myself, to see when I started this blog I weighed 316 pounds and it was 4 years ago, I weigh more now. I weigh 339 pounds and I am depressed and looking for motivation to get my butt in gear. I am sick of being sick, I am sick of excuses, and am just tired. My son took a picture of me and I cried. I am tired of waiting for my husband to walk with me. I am going to talk to him about it, and carry my phone with me and try to commit to walking 1 time a week to start. Now I am not bed ridden, but I do sit a lot right now. I know it isn't helping me at all.

And here is a list of my REAL excuses as to why I sit so much...

1. I have 4 herniation's in my back pushing on the nerves in my spine.
2. My feet, ankles. or hips to give out because of the nerve damage.
3. A large cyst on my left ovary (I go on Monday Sept 26th to get another check) this is very painful, causing hip pain and stomach pain to where I am crying.
4. My blood pressure has started going up, with some minor chest discomfort-I have been checked and it is anxiety, nothing else.

Now my poor excuses.

My program is on, I have to do something for the PTSA (I am on the board for our school PTA), or I am checking email, checking stuff that don't matter.

But I have said them, they are out there and now I can focus on getting something done. Starting in the morning I am going to commit to taking a picture of everything I eat, good & bad and ugly. I am also going to try to get up, shower and get dressed. Right now I am going to be honest. I get up, stay in my night clothes (usually sweats or stretchy carpi & T-shirt) roll out of bed and get moving. My daily schedule is 5:45 am, take 10 minutes to myself to wake up and go to the bathroom, check the news, then I get the boys up by 6 am. We are headed down stairs and I get the dogs out to walk and feed them, back in the kennels. Get the boys moving to make sure they are fed, and ready for school. Walk them to the bus, and come back in. Once I am done with those activities, I do a couple of different things. If there are dishes I may unload, load and start the dish washer. Same if there is any laundry. But then I just kinda stop, and go to sitting down activities, computer work or clearing my desk off because it is a dumping ground and I putter around. I think I do get stuff done it just takes me all day. And not to mention if I have to step out to go get L, C or J anything they may have forgotten or need at school.

On Fridays I go to the school and collect box tops and see what is needed at the school. So I get to walk around the school. I enjoy that. I will hopefully get to start back to going up to help out some of the teachers.

So here is my first step to a healthier life. I am going to attempt to do this with out surgery.

This is me. Sept 8th 2016. I am huge, and I am not going to let myself get any bigger. I am going to commit to taking a picture monthly to see if there is any progress.

Thank you 
Robin B

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